I am yet to witness a sexual encounter where no touching was involved in any way. Forget about phone sex – I mean real sex, physical sex. Sex is a physical act. Therefore, touching really makes a large part of it.
But, have you really asked what all these touches (kissing, caressing, licking, etc.) do to your body?
The Interpretation Of Touching
Before delving into sex itself, let’s look at touching in general. There has been a recent scientific research about how touch is perceived by different people across the globe. Much of the findings, though, depends on the gender and cultural upbringing of the person involved. For instance, while the average American adult female may be “offended” by a male colleague or acquaintance touching her chest or lower waist regions, the average American adult male may be “okay” with that. An adult female is okay with her sister or mother touching some “taboo” parts, an adult male is very offended when his mother or sister does same. Why is this important? This shows you how your “friendly” or “casual” touch is been seen and interpreted by the other person at the receiving end. Also, this shows the general impact a touch has on people in general.
How Does This Apply In Your Relationship?
Out of the five senses we generally have as humans (sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch), touch is the first ever sense we acquire and develop as babies. Just a simple touch of a mother can put a crying baby to sleep. For this reason, touch may be the very “secret” to a successful relationship.
With that said, let’s look at how touch is necessary in your sex-life and what touching actually does to your body before, during or after sex.
Touch Reduces Stress We are simply a touching species as humans. We touch each other when we are happy or sad. When a loved one gets bad news, you will give a pat or brushing on the back. By patting or brushing the back of a loved one in stress with the palm, you stimulate pressure receptors in the skin, thereby lowering stress hormones.
In the same way, when we touch, we stimulate our brain to release oxytocin hormones (also referred to as “cuddle hormone”). This hormone enhances our sense of attachment and trust. It simply tells the body “we are safe”. Simple “self-massaging” behaviours such as massaging of the forehead, robbing of hands and stroking of the neck are all proven to reduce the stress hormone called cortisol, which also slows down our heart rates.
Touch Strengthens Relationships It is reported that relationships in which the people involved touch each other are often stronger than those without enough touches. Touch is a key factor that bonds people together. You hardly touch people that you don’t know much or classify as “foes”. Failing relationships lack a lot of touching, but intimate relationships entail a lot of touching, even in public places.
This is because by not touching enough, there won’t be a lot of physical connection between the two, which may come in the way of the “freedom” or “break” they may be seeking to gain when the relationship finally collapses.
Touch Is A Reciprocal And Two-Way Communication There is a saying that “you cannot touch without being touched”. This means, that you have to be emotionally touched by the person before you touch them. In the same way, when you touch someone, you indirectly feel the same emotions as the person you touch. When you reach-out to touch a person, they instantly communicate whether they are stressed, sad, open to communication, or scared all through their reaction to your touch in body language. This makes touching more than what we see.
The Impact Of A Touch Is As Important As The “Toucher” All touches are similar irrespective of the person giving the touch. However, a touch from a friend, loved one or someone we know is perceived by the brain as “better” than a casual person or stranger would give. As a matter of fact, in every situation, the touch we get is seen to be “bigger” or “impactful” depending on how close we are emotionally to the person. Thus, for this same reason, when the person whom we are emotionally connected to refuses to touch us when we needed it most, we are discomforted twice as we were before.
You Are Likely To Feel “Used” Or “Dejected” When Your Partner Doesn’t Hug You After Sex How “irritating” does it feel when your partner leaves you alone or immediately grabs his cellphone after sex? I can guess it is very irritating. It almost feels like you “hired” or “compelled” them to have sex with you. No one actually wants to feel that way. A close, warm hug from a your partner after sex reaffirms their love for you.
Touching Can Actually Get You What You Want When a person touches you especially in a casual or “proper” way, nothing changes physically. But, psychologically, a lot changes. Three hormones (dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin) are leased. These trio are called “happy hormones” as they make you feel good. In this state, you indirectly open-up to and welcome the person that touched you more. You are more likely to do what they ask of you with less resistance.
In this case you can imagine what can be possible if we engaged in a lot of touching as part of our sex-life?
Looking at all the “goodies” and mechanisms our bodies go through when we touch or when we are touched, we may be tempted to touch almost everyone at almost every place.
However, as we saw earlier, this depends a lot on the level of our relationship and how we interpret that touch. Since we are focusing more on intimate or sexual relationships we can focus on where and how we want to be touched by our partners.
This blog post is related to the question:
How and where do you like to be touched the most?
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With that said, how and where do you like to be touched? Most importantly, why do you like to be touched at those particular places? What else do you like in the bedroom? Does your partner know this as well? Did you ever want to ask him, but you didn’t know how? Use the Cards of Revelation to find out more about your partners desires and let him know about yours! You can get a deck of 69 cards in the shop or stay tuned as we discuss a different question every week 😉
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